I am determined at some point in the next year to apply for an Affirmative Action job in South Africa as a 'black' male. Now this might be a strange thing for a 'white' guy to do but I have been having quirky little daydreams in which, sitting in the interview, I get to put the onus of proof onto the interviewer and his panel of race-conscious, eager, bright-eyed social engineers. Let us make it clear that I probably will not want, or get, the job I apply for and it will probably end up being more awkward than funny as these things often are but there is a sense of comedy stalking the whole enterprise of AA and BEE and the ongoing racial classification in South Africa.
In the old days, the NAT's, architects of apartheid were suddenly faced with the same dilemma...what do we do with those who claim to be white and are coloured, Indian and are black, coloured and are black and so on. Teams of race 'officials' looked at hair, noses, fingernails and other arbitrary bits of body and made pronouncements that sometimes even split families into two distinct racial groups, the consequence of which, in apartheid South Africa, can only be imagined. The Apartheid Museum has a page from the national race records stating in the given year how many whites officially became coloured, how many coloureds officially became white and so, laughably, on.
We now know from DNA studies that there is fundamentally no inherent difference between humans beyond the obvious physical and cultural ones and since no too members even of the same race have the same appearance reading anything into this would seem silly. In one extremely amusing recent addition to the debate, a local TV show had local celebrities tested to find out which geographical area of the world their ancestors came from, something which DNA can tell us. Some 'white' people turned out to have African and Khoi DNA and in one case a stunned Tim Modise was told he had Germanic as well as Khoi roots- he seemed very perturbed to be a black part of the 'master race'!
Back to my mildly odd, somewhat satisfying musings about claiming 'black' status. I figure that if, by modern science, Tim Modise is germanic, I could very well be Khoi or African and since all humans, by current thinking and archaeological discovery, come from Africa, I could very well be 'black' by our current definitions. I could have been overlooked by the apartheid government, a lucky escapee into the 'white' camp and now I could come 'out of the closet' so to speak and declare my true nature, a proud 'black' man in every way. Since compulsory DNA testing is not yet required for job applications in our beloved little country, I would ostensibly be within my rights to claim 'blackness' and be entitled to all of the privileges it now entails. I could put my name down for an RDP house, join government departments, get Telkom shares at a discount and enroll at all those cool exclusive clubs for black people like the Black Lawyer's Association, The Black Management Forum and so on. I could go undercover at the AWB or the Boeremag, treading carefully since I would be be in for a pretty hard time if they found out I was actually 'black'.
Oh, and I could apply for the position of President of SARFU, DNA test Jake White and should he also prove to be black like me, I could entice him back to coach our Springboks to 2011 victory.
Surely its time to move on from all these childish clubby, clubby games we play now? 'White' and 'black' pretty much have no meaning any more, yet a country that fought against racial classification and WON is doggedly hanging onto the concept. I think we need to move on but maybe its just because I am 'black'... ;)
In the old days, the NAT's, architects of apartheid were suddenly faced with the same dilemma...what do we do with those who claim to be white and are coloured, Indian and are black, coloured and are black and so on. Teams of race 'officials' looked at hair, noses, fingernails and other arbitrary bits of body and made pronouncements that sometimes even split families into two distinct racial groups, the consequence of which, in apartheid South Africa, can only be imagined. The Apartheid Museum has a page from the national race records stating in the given year how many whites officially became coloured, how many coloureds officially became white and so, laughably, on.
We now know from DNA studies that there is fundamentally no inherent difference between humans beyond the obvious physical and cultural ones and since no too members even of the same race have the same appearance reading anything into this would seem silly. In one extremely amusing recent addition to the debate, a local TV show had local celebrities tested to find out which geographical area of the world their ancestors came from, something which DNA can tell us. Some 'white' people turned out to have African and Khoi DNA and in one case a stunned Tim Modise was told he had Germanic as well as Khoi roots- he seemed very perturbed to be a black part of the 'master race'!
Back to my mildly odd, somewhat satisfying musings about claiming 'black' status. I figure that if, by modern science, Tim Modise is germanic, I could very well be Khoi or African and since all humans, by current thinking and archaeological discovery, come from Africa, I could very well be 'black' by our current definitions. I could have been overlooked by the apartheid government, a lucky escapee into the 'white' camp and now I could come 'out of the closet' so to speak and declare my true nature, a proud 'black' man in every way. Since compulsory DNA testing is not yet required for job applications in our beloved little country, I would ostensibly be within my rights to claim 'blackness' and be entitled to all of the privileges it now entails. I could put my name down for an RDP house, join government departments, get Telkom shares at a discount and enroll at all those cool exclusive clubs for black people like the Black Lawyer's Association, The Black Management Forum and so on. I could go undercover at the AWB or the Boeremag, treading carefully since I would be be in for a pretty hard time if they found out I was actually 'black'.
Oh, and I could apply for the position of President of SARFU, DNA test Jake White and should he also prove to be black like me, I could entice him back to coach our Springboks to 2011 victory.
Surely its time to move on from all these childish clubby, clubby games we play now? 'White' and 'black' pretty much have no meaning any more, yet a country that fought against racial classification and WON is doggedly hanging onto the concept. I think we need to move on but maybe its just because I am 'black'... ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment